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Friday, March 30, 2012

Random Object Friday: Loosing and Microphones

There was an upcoming singing contest being advertised. Fliers announcing it decorated the walls of Guitar Center and a DJ spun mixes of hip hop and rock as he asked me if I wanted to sign up for it. He must have figured I was into the whole singing thing when he saw what I was shopping for. I was 20 and my love for writing music and singing had resurfaced from the ashes of my childhood and I found myself shopping for my very first microphone. Because every cool singer must have their own, or at least that's what I was told.

The only ever obvious answer for me was no. So I responded to the DJ's question and told him so. The truth is that loosing for me has always been something I take harder than most people. That's probably why I never took a liking to sports, games or contests where the chance of loosing was ever present. Making mistakes and essentially failing while people watch is a fear for me that a stage only amplified. So stages, spotlights and crowds of people, large or small, staring always made me feel exposed in a way that I never fully got acquainted with. I still sing sometimes and love to write but really, I could have never made it as a singer. And I'm perfectly ok with that. I prefer the comfort of the sidelines. Sometimes though, I can't help but wonder what would happen if I stepped outside my comfort zone and took a chance at failing at something- and won.

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